Today at work the management team offered a 'time of refreshment' to all the staff. Initially, I had no plans of going as our department is crazy busy these days. But my boss, who knows some of what I am going through, called me into her office and told me that she thought it would be good if I went. So I went.
I walked in during the worship time and was immediately brought to tears. Worshipping God seemed so hard today. I got very little sleep last night and woke up this morning to discover that my recurrent infection was living up to its name. I was frustrated and feeling incredibly drained. I feel as if every aspect of me is just completely spent. So I was really looking forward to what the visiting Pastor might have to say. I was sure he was going to have a Word of God for me.
And then he announced his sermon title:
"The Relationship between Israel and the Church."
And I started to cry. All morning I had felt like God was closing the door on me and now it seemed like it had been slammed shut. I didn't come to the time of refreshment for an intellectual discussion on Christianity and Judaism. I wanted peace. I wanted solace. I wanted to feel loved by God.
And then it came. In the misdt of all his academia I caught eight wonderful words:
'God's faithfulness does not depend on our faithfulness.'
How blessed am I to have a Father that does not return my lack of faith inkind.
How blessed am I to have a Father who places people in my life just as I need them.
How blessed am I to have a Father who has promised to carry my heavy burdens.
Father, I am weary. My shoulders are small and the burden I am carrying is great. Thank You for the reminder that You will carry my load, if only I am humble enough to release it.
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