Restoration

I think I would definitely blog more if it didn't take me ten minutes to figure out how to access blogger. Most times I just give up.

Vicious cycle, of course. The less I blog, the longer it takes me to find it.

Anyhoo.

I've been thinking a lot lately about where I fit on the "Christian" spectrum. For the first time since my undergrad years I am not studying/working in a Christian environment...and it feels great. That said, it is a challenge for me to figure out how to interact with those around me. I grew so accustomed to being surrounded by people who shared the basic tenets of my faith that it seems almost foreign to me to now be considered the odd one out.

It's good for me. It's good because it means I have to think more about how I present myself and how I am reflecting Christ. It's good because it forces me to be real. No one at work wants to hear the Christian-eze or see some emotional outburst. They want me to be me. No facade. No spiritualizing. Just me.

For the first time in years I feel like I am on a level-playing field. No one at work expects me to be perfect. They know I'm not so they would never think to hold me to that standard. My left-leaning social beliefs are not held against me here. I can be me.

It's strange to think that I feel more free to be "Christian" out in the world than I did at my last place of employment. Sad that I feel less judged here. Less like a failure.

I don't rule out ever working in a ministry position again. I'm not foolish enough to think that I can change the course that God has put me on. But I relish this time apart because I can sense that in this place He is restoring my soul.