How long?

I am trying to come to terms with the overwhelming truth that the struggles that we are facing right now will not last forever. I know deep down that the Psalmist was right to say that 'weeping may last for the night but joy comes in the morning.' What I am wondering right now is how long is the night?

As a child I used to be terrified of nighttime. I would rush to bed early in the hopes that I would be asleep long before the rest of the family because one of my deepest fears was that I would be the only one awake in the house. I would lie in bed, enveloped in my blankets, and tremble at each tiny sound. My imagination would run rampant and I would regularly convince myself that there was a stranger in the house. It took me years to realize that I could control my thoughts and, as a result, the fear that used to have such a firm grip on me slowly loosened its hold.

These days I feel like I am living through an awfully long night and, once again, my imagination is getting the best of me. And I really don't like it. I don't like that my faith, which seemed so strong when I got the bad news, seems to be waning as time goes on. I want to come through this with a faith that has been tested by the fire. I want to make God proud.

I want to experience the joy of the morning.